[ well now he's just embarrassed!! still, hua cheng picking up his hand like that and holding it soothes some of the nerves, though it doesn't make his heart race any less. really, it's impossible to save face in front of san lang for more than a minute, isn't it? he deflates, some of the nervous energy coming out of him like a balloon as hua cheng kisses his knuckles.
somehow, he's more relaxed and more embarrassed all at once. xie lian's shoulders hunch up a little across the table, and he can't help the smile that spreads back across his face, small and private and still a little startled. even years later, it's so easy to fall in love with hua cheng, over and over and over. by far, he was the luckiest thing that ever happened to him.
he liked it, some small, giddy part of him sings, he liked it. his white day quest was successful. xie lian nods, his whole expression softening into goo. ] ...Of course, I want to see those things with San Lang too.
[ another world? that's just silly, but in the moment, he feels the same way. there's nowhere xie lian wants to be than beside this person, taking on whatever challenge they could, life, death, otherwise. he gives san lang's hand a tiny squeeze, a bit sheepish. ] I know this place isn't... always ideal for you - [ the teaching thing, the not being able to be together all the time thing, not sharing a bed or even a dorm...he misses that too, is what he's trying to get at, but he's too embarrassed to say so out loud. ] - but if there's ever anything I can do to ease it for you, I will, and that isn't just because of some silly holiday.
[ another little squeeze. he's forgotten the embarrassingly bad cake in favor of looking lovingly into san lang's face. gross. ] It's because San Lang is my most important partner.
[ Will Xie Lian remember this vow, he wonders, when they return to that strange space? Hua Cheng won't worry himself over it, and instead focus on the way that everything in him seems to warm. Even his cold, cold skin feels like it's alight all over again, warmed to the very core as he is, and he squeezes Xie Lian's fingers tighter in his with a frankly disgusting smile on his face. It changes everything about him, softens every sharp edge even if it doesn't take away the danger inherent in him.
But the threat that he is poses no risk to Xie Lian - to make him safe, to make him happy, is all that he would use that volatile nature for. He rubs his thumbs over Xie Lian's knuckles, head angled so that he looks at him from just under the fall of his hair. ]
Gege is here. [ His voice softens, too, and he huffs a little laugh. It isn't unkind, and he leans his weight on his elbows. No, this place isn't ideal - it doesn't mesh, really, with the kind of person that he is. Even without the memories. Just his origins tell him all that he needs to know about the person that this Dianxia calls his most important person. Neither of them likely thrive here as they should. ] It doesn't matter the sort of place we're in. I came here with you of my own choice, you know, and I knew what I was going to be facing by making that choice.
Because gege is my most important partner. [ Don't let him know, don't upset him, don't give him reason to doubt. So long as he's happy, Hua Cheng will say whatever he needs to hear. ]
[ san lang has this way of saying things that just soothe xie lian's fears or worries. after all, hua cheng met him at his absolute worst--barely a shell of the person he used to be, angry and full of vengeance and fear, and stayed by his side. he was there, when xie lian rediscovered kindness. rediscovered how simple and easy it could be to happy, even after years of suffering, of pain. their partnership was one born from fire and hardened because of it; xie lian then never understood why hua cheng stayed by his side, and now, he barely understands either, but he's more than thankful for it, and will spend the rest of his life showing his gratitude in all the ways he can.
he says gege is here and his expression softens. xie lian squeezes the hand in his, too, reaching over to hold it with both of his, to try and push some of that warmth into this important, beloved person. ] ...okay. [ the butterflies here don't come from hua cheng, silvery wraith beings--they come from being with him, so thick and heavy in his lungs it feels like he can't breathe, in the best way possible.
xie lian brings hua cheng's hand to him in return, and though his cheeks pinken, he bows his head, and presses his forehead against his knuckles gently, eyes closed. eventually, he seems to summon up the courage and presses a soft, fluttery kiss of his own to his knuckles in return. as if to return the favor--i am yours as much as you are mine. ] ...happy White Day.
[ he says, quietly, and releases the hand held in his own, the smile on his face small and genuine--an expression of pure happiness, reserved solely for his san lang.
and--okay, okay, that's enough of that embarrassingness!! xie lian puffs a little air, pulling back, the smile brightening up. ] Besides, we might have to be a bit more separate than usual, but at least we get to see each other like this! I'm glad. Working with you is fun!
[ Sweet, sweet Dianxia. Hua Cheng can see the way his words soothe, and his heart softens with it. Because he wants that for him, wants nothing more than for his happiness and safety. If he's granted it to this Xie Lian, then all the more respect to his other self. (But jealousy, too, to know that he can be like this with his beloved. That he's somehow earned the way that Xie Lian smiles at him, now, the softness in his expression, the tenderness in his touch.) ]
Okay. [ He rubs his thumb over his knuckles, smile small and sweet in response. No one else makes him feel this way, no matter the world he's found himself in. Watching him bow his head causes that flushed feeling in his chest again, a threat of making his heart beat for the first time in 800 years. And it jumps into his throat when Xie Lian kisses his knuckles, everything honey sweet and just as sticky inside his ribs.
He never wants to leave this. ] Happy White Day, gege.
[ His hands draw back, but he leans his weight on his arms to stay in his space. His head cocks, curious, and he huffs a little laugh. Hua Cheng will never get tired of this brightness. ] Working with you is fun, too. I can't wait to see what else we do, while we're here - and we'll always be able to find time together, won't we? To have lunch, teach, work... eat cake.
[ Teasing. Don't think he forgot about that cake. ]
[ ah.... cake.... xie lian laughs, ducking his head--even so, the laugh is light and warm, sheepish. the entire mood of their conversation is light, and xie lian feels like he could float out of his chair with no elemental magic involved. even though he's ashamed of his ugly cake, san lang wants it, and san lang's reassurance means the world to xie lian, like it always has. ]
I was hoping you might have forgotten... [ because really, it's gross... but true to form, xie lian will present his white day cake. it is ugly, and it probably isn't very sweet, but he pushes the slightly smushed box across the table to him anyway. ] If you're poisoned, I'll carry you to the infirmary before it can take hold properly...
[ god, poisoning his long term boyfriend on white day WOULD happen to him. really, xie lian is lucky san lang has stayed with him this long... he's so blessed he could never forget it. ]
[ Hua Cheng laughs, too, a little mean but no less warm. It's just playful bullying, the same that Xie Lian has given him and the same that they'll always have. Because teasing him is easy, and he certainly won't miss out on being able to eat something that gege has made. Especially when it's for him!
It might be disgusting. It might very well be poison. But he draws the box closer, taking off the top and ignoring the smear of ugly icing left on the top of it. ]
How could I forget anything that gege has ever told me? [ He clucks his tongue, but pokes through their utensils for a spoon. Easier to shovel whatever concoction Xie Lian's made than trying to use another one he's less familiar with for eating. ] It'll be fine.
there is maybe a hint of hope in his eyes. like, maybe it won't just fucking kill san lang on the spot like everything else he cooks for...anyone else. okay, so, maybe san lang doesn't usually get sick--or if he does, he hides it very well--and he always likes it, but xie lian can't be sure.....
It's a little dry, but I think it's quite good, gege. The icing helps. [ The icing is bland and was probably put on the cake when the cake was still a little too warm, but here he is, taking another scoop of it and putting it in his mouth.
And then he closes his eyes and hums, spoon still in his mouth, as if it is delicious instead of goddamn poison to anyone that isn't him. ]
[ do you see this, san lang? do you see this surprised, slightly hopeful look on xie lian's face? you are the reason he still cooks at all. (unfortunately). they've been at this for years, but xie lian has been told his food is gross so many times that he pretty much just accepts it.... but san lang has always liked it. and san lang wouldn't lie to him. ] ...Really?
[ that slightly hopeful look fades into a smile. it's soft and absolutely besotted, as he glances down at his own lunch, his eyes warm, his heart doing backflips. it seems a bit like he's trying to hide his expression, or make it more private, but it is blatantly obvious. this is why you two end up on the rumor mill. ] I'll... um, I'll try to increase the liquid ingredients next time, then. Thank you, San Lang.
[ Oh, he sees it. And if he can find a way to make every Xie Lian he ever meets make that face, he'll do it; even if it takes another 800 years, he'll find a way, just to have that light in his eyes. To turn the hopeful gaze into that little, soft, warm thing. ] Really really, gege.
[ Something squirms and weaves its way through his ribs even more. Hua Cheng chuckles softly, unable to hide the adoration in his own expression. Given how much he feels in this single moment, it isn't shocking, and there's no point in hiding it. He's not the most subtle sort when it comes to what Xie Lian means to him, anyways. Let them talk. ]
I'll eat it then, too, whenever you make it. Maybe we can do it together?
I'd like that. [ that sweet, happy smile stays on his face a moment longer. xie lian has to stop himself from overreacting too much or making a fool of himself with it--he has the urge to press his hands to his own cheeks and muffles it by eating another bite of his gross food.
for a brief heartbeat, there's a feeling of warmth that emanates from the string around his finger. he's sending over a little of his own energy to san lang, letting him know his gratitude even like this. they're connected, like they always have been. it's everything xie lian never knew he wanted and everything his life has boiled down to.
there's a beat of that gushy silence, and then, he quips-- ] It's a date. [ --and smiles, clearly amused at his own little joke. he's so funny! them, dating, like they aren't already basically married! ]
[ Hua Cheng has had 800 years to keep even microexpressions from showing on his face, and it's easy enough to not react with surprise or delight or that absolute thrill he feels when Xie Lian says it's a date. He's happy, and selfishly so, in a way that he wouldn't yield the moment to this world's version of him even if it meant his heart really would beat again.
But he does smile, visible eye crinkling with the warmth of it. The energy, Xie Lian's smile, his touch, his company, the key between them... that's all the cause for it. ]
I'll look forward to it. [ And he sends that energy back, as he sets the spoon down to pick up the key on its chain. Without a moment of hesitation, he lifts it up to put over his head. It means having to sweep his hair out from under it, but he doesn't mind - not when he can let that settle over his heart, for all the world to see. ]
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somehow, he's more relaxed and more embarrassed all at once. xie lian's shoulders hunch up a little across the table, and he can't help the smile that spreads back across his face, small and private and still a little startled. even years later, it's so easy to fall in love with hua cheng, over and over and over. by far, he was the luckiest thing that ever happened to him.
he liked it, some small, giddy part of him sings, he liked it. his white day quest was successful. xie lian nods, his whole expression softening into goo. ] ...Of course, I want to see those things with San Lang too.
[ another world? that's just silly, but in the moment, he feels the same way. there's nowhere xie lian wants to be than beside this person, taking on whatever challenge they could, life, death, otherwise. he gives san lang's hand a tiny squeeze, a bit sheepish. ] I know this place isn't... always ideal for you - [ the teaching thing, the not being able to be together all the time thing, not sharing a bed or even a dorm...he misses that too, is what he's trying to get at, but he's too embarrassed to say so out loud. ] - but if there's ever anything I can do to ease it for you, I will, and that isn't just because of some silly holiday.
[ another little squeeze. he's forgotten the embarrassingly bad cake in favor of looking lovingly into san lang's face. gross. ] It's because San Lang is my most important partner.
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But the threat that he is poses no risk to Xie Lian - to make him safe, to make him happy, is all that he would use that volatile nature for. He rubs his thumbs over Xie Lian's knuckles, head angled so that he looks at him from just under the fall of his hair. ]
Gege is here. [ His voice softens, too, and he huffs a little laugh. It isn't unkind, and he leans his weight on his elbows. No, this place isn't ideal - it doesn't mesh, really, with the kind of person that he is. Even without the memories. Just his origins tell him all that he needs to know about the person that this Dianxia calls his most important person. Neither of them likely thrive here as they should. ] It doesn't matter the sort of place we're in. I came here with you of my own choice, you know, and I knew what I was going to be facing by making that choice.
Because gege is my most important partner. [ Don't let him know, don't upset him, don't give him reason to doubt. So long as he's happy, Hua Cheng will say whatever he needs to hear. ]
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he says gege is here and his expression softens. xie lian squeezes the hand in his, too, reaching over to hold it with both of his, to try and push some of that warmth into this important, beloved person. ] ...okay. [ the butterflies here don't come from hua cheng, silvery wraith beings--they come from being with him, so thick and heavy in his lungs it feels like he can't breathe, in the best way possible.
xie lian brings hua cheng's hand to him in return, and though his cheeks pinken, he bows his head, and presses his forehead against his knuckles gently, eyes closed. eventually, he seems to summon up the courage and presses a soft, fluttery kiss of his own to his knuckles in return. as if to return the favor--i am yours as much as you are mine. ] ...happy White Day.
[ he says, quietly, and releases the hand held in his own, the smile on his face small and genuine--an expression of pure happiness, reserved solely for his san lang.
and--okay, okay, that's enough of that embarrassingness!! xie lian puffs a little air, pulling back, the smile brightening up. ] Besides, we might have to be a bit more separate than usual, but at least we get to see each other like this! I'm glad. Working with you is fun!
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Okay. [ He rubs his thumb over his knuckles, smile small and sweet in response. No one else makes him feel this way, no matter the world he's found himself in. Watching him bow his head causes that flushed feeling in his chest again, a threat of making his heart beat for the first time in 800 years. And it jumps into his throat when Xie Lian kisses his knuckles, everything honey sweet and just as sticky inside his ribs.
He never wants to leave this. ] Happy White Day, gege.
[ His hands draw back, but he leans his weight on his arms to stay in his space. His head cocks, curious, and he huffs a little laugh. Hua Cheng will never get tired of this brightness. ] Working with you is fun, too. I can't wait to see what else we do, while we're here - and we'll always be able to find time together, won't we? To have lunch, teach, work... eat cake.
[ Teasing. Don't think he forgot about that cake. ]
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I was hoping you might have forgotten... [ because really, it's gross... but true to form, xie lian will present his white day cake. it is ugly, and it probably isn't very sweet, but he pushes the slightly smushed box across the table to him anyway. ] If you're poisoned, I'll carry you to the infirmary before it can take hold properly...
[ god, poisoning his long term boyfriend on white day WOULD happen to him. really, xie lian is lucky san lang has stayed with him this long... he's so blessed he could never forget it. ]
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It might be disgusting. It might very well be poison. But he draws the box closer, taking off the top and ignoring the smear of ugly icing left on the top of it. ]
How could I forget anything that gege has ever told me? [ He clucks his tongue, but pokes through their utensils for a spoon. Easier to shovel whatever concoction Xie Lian's made than trying to use another one he's less familiar with for eating. ] It'll be fine.
[ Aaaand... momf. ]
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there is maybe a hint of hope in his eyes. like, maybe it won't just fucking kill san lang on the spot like everything else he cooks for...anyone else. okay, so, maybe san lang doesn't usually get sick--or if he does, he hides it very well--and he always likes it, but xie lian can't be sure.....
(vibrates) ]
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It's a little dry, but I think it's quite good, gege. The icing helps. [ The icing is bland and was probably put on the cake when the cake was still a little too warm, but here he is, taking another scoop of it and putting it in his mouth.
And then he closes his eyes and hums, spoon still in his mouth, as if it is delicious instead of goddamn poison to anyone that isn't him. ]
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[ that slightly hopeful look fades into a smile. it's soft and absolutely besotted, as he glances down at his own lunch, his eyes warm, his heart doing backflips. it seems a bit like he's trying to hide his expression, or make it more private, but it is blatantly obvious. this is why you two end up on the rumor mill. ] I'll... um, I'll try to increase the liquid ingredients next time, then. Thank you, San Lang.
[ he's so happy it's actually disgusting.]
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[ Something squirms and weaves its way through his ribs even more. Hua Cheng chuckles softly, unable to hide the adoration in his own expression. Given how much he feels in this single moment, it isn't shocking, and there's no point in hiding it. He's not the most subtle sort when it comes to what Xie Lian means to him, anyways. Let them talk. ]
I'll eat it then, too, whenever you make it. Maybe we can do it together?
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for a brief heartbeat, there's a feeling of warmth that emanates from the string around his finger. he's sending over a little of his own energy to san lang, letting him know his gratitude even like this. they're connected, like they always have been. it's everything xie lian never knew he wanted and everything his life has boiled down to.
there's a beat of that gushy silence, and then, he quips-- ] It's a date. [ --and smiles, clearly amused at his own little joke. he's so funny! them, dating, like they aren't already basically married! ]
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[ Hua Cheng has had 800 years to keep even microexpressions from showing on his face, and it's easy enough to not react with surprise or delight or that absolute thrill he feels when Xie Lian says it's a date. He's happy, and selfishly so, in a way that he wouldn't yield the moment to this world's version of him even if it meant his heart really would beat again.
But he does smile, visible eye crinkling with the warmth of it. The energy, Xie Lian's smile, his touch, his company, the key between them... that's all the cause for it. ]
I'll look forward to it. [ And he sends that energy back, as he sets the spoon down to pick up the key on its chain. Without a moment of hesitation, he lifts it up to put over his head. It means having to sweep his hair out from under it, but he doesn't mind - not when he can let that settle over his heart, for all the world to see. ]