[ it's been over a day since hua cheng has contacted xie lian.
this is... this is unusual. xie lian doesn't like it. he doesn't like that he can't just reach out to him over the home base, or with those lovely cell phone devices they'd had in the world before. no matter where they've been, it felt like hua cheng was always there, telling xie lian if he had somewhere to check in (in the last world in particular) but never far out of reach. he can't recall a day since they met that they haven't been in communication... until today.
but it's probably fine. hua cheng mentioned having some business to take care of the night before, and xie lian was busy helping royce. they were both working to help this place, even if san lang knew it in a way xie lian did not, and that was fine. he likes how easy things are between them, even when one remembers and one doesn't. hua cheng makes it easy to have a friend, even though xie lian is awkward, and generally unlikable, and not good at having friends at all. he's a comforting, perfect presence and not having him there is. odd. it's wrong, but he trusts hua cheng and he knows it'll be fine.
two hours into the day, he's making breakfast, experimenting on a bowl of congee and ruining it beyond all disbelief. he eats it anyway.
four hours into the day, he's harvesting vegetables outside of the shrine, replanting the fields, digging out plants and putting in new ones, moving them around. he's made a note to himself to ask for san lang's communication array password, when they return to the space.
six hours into the day, xie lian has taken apart a part of puji shrine and put it back together, adding in new stones, fixing the holes made last week. maybe hua cheng will contact him eventually. it's not unusual for him to be busy. he might drop by as a fox, maybe--he'd like that.
by the evening, xie lian's worry has reached a peak, and he gives up trying to make himself busy with a thousand useless tasks. the priest makes his way into umite, down through the docks, around the corner to the beautiful red facade of wu ming. he has a bad gut feeling, which has never been a good sign, and he nods his greeting to the matron, who greets him with a bow and a worried look on her face.
that only makes it worse.
hua cheng will hear the sound of footsteps, coming down the hallway. they start off quieter, but get louder and louder as xie lian picks up the pace, the bad feeling in his gut twisting into something like a knife, and he stops himself just before the door, raises his fist, and -- freezes.
what if he's here for a reason? what if he doesn't want to see xie lian--if the hua cheng of this world has wised up to him, understands who he is and what he's done? like in his dream, it would be better; he'd be safer, but -
( "If you will have me at your side, then that is where I intend to stay, for however long this banquet may last.")
xie lian lifts his head. his resolve steels. the worry for san lang (what if he's hurt, what if he's dying, san lang, san lang) and that bad feeling take over, and with a demanding entrance that's truly worthy of the crown prince of xian le, he grabs the sliding door and pulls it open.
sorry if it was locked he may have broken the lock. ] --San Lang!
[ Hua Cheng should have predicted this, he thinks.
And maybe a part of him did. But he's been caught up in making sure Beau and Futaba recover, which has left him preoccupied more with other people than himself - because when that dust had hit him, his thought was and what could it do to me? as if he was untouchable. He'd so carefully cultivated the person that he is now, the strength and knowledge, the skills and resources. Perhaps not invincible, but as of late it had felt like even in the midst of all the chaos, he had the power and control necessary to face the oncoming storm.
The Wu Ming staff all flutter around him like nervous butterflies, fretful but trying not to get underfoot and aggravate him further. They leave him be when he enters his own quarters, in the dimly lit, crimson red halls of the private floor of Wu Ming, but he knows that they're all whispering to each other as he licks his wounds.
It hurts. His head throbs, the socket aches, the skin around it is irritated. There's a sort of irony in that it was his right eye, he thinks, but if that was the sacrifice for making sure that Beau didn't suffer worse than she did - and didn't bleed out as a consequence of it - and that Futaba was gotten to safety, then he'll accept it.
For as often as he holds disinterest for those not worth his time, he would give of himself for those that he cares about, no matter how distant and aloof he pretends to be.
Even after the eye is gone - because what point is there to leave what remains of it there, when it's effectively melted out of his head - the pain remains.
Hua Cheng is used to pain.
His ears twitch when he hears the quick pace of footsteps making its way towards his door, and it takes a moment for it to register for what it is behind the throbbing of his head. There's barely any time for him to react when the door slides open, the lock broken under Xie Lian's determination. (Later, he'll doubt he even knew the door was locked.) (Probably didn't notice.) All he can do is sit up from the lounge he'd sprawled back on to look at him, tails spilling over the side, remaining eye dark and round in surprise - and a little guilt, hearing his voice call him like that, the realization that he's been caught. But otherwise there isn't, technically, anything different.
In the dreams, his red right eye was visible. There was no eyepatch to cover it. In the waking world, it's more common to see him wearing the patch, so there's tecnically no difference to him now.
Save for the irritated skin that's visible under the edges of a white bandage, instead, wrapped around his head in place of his often pitch dark, decorated patches. A red blotch of tacky blood is just barely showing through the layers. ]
[ for the past eight hundred years, xie lian's gut instinct has gotten pretty sharp. he tends to recognize things when they're going to go south. he can pick up acutely on danger (he just often chooses to ignore it.) and this time, it was right on the money.
something was wrong.
he's holding the door open still, the wood slightly cracking underneath the force of his grip, his eyes round and wide. san lang is alive, yes, but -- those bandages across his face make his heart lurch. there's blood, fresh blood, and his mind reels with every sudden possibility of what could have caused such an injury. of what might remain--or what might not.
he knows that hua cheng wears an eyepatch in his true form. that, logically, he could be missing an eye made perfect sense. but this hua cheng was fine. he'd learned in his nightmares that hua cheng had a red eye, that he kept that covered with the patch, but he'd never suffered any sort of injury that would have left him incapacitated. and now...
...the why and how doesn't matter, not right now. what matters is that he is here, he is alive, and he is hurting. ]
San Lang. [ he repeats, whooshed out of him in an exhale, just seven letters wrapped up in what sounds like ache. not contrition for ignoring him, not any sort of derision or judgement; just the real and terrifying thought that he was right. xie lian crosses the room as fast as he can, hurrying across and reaching out with both hands to scoop up his face if san lang will let him, cradling his jaw with the utmost tenderness as his eyes scan across his face, trying to look at the wound, eyes flicking from the bandages to his other eye and back again. ] San Lang, oh -- what happened to you...?
[ his thumbs brush against his cheeks, careful to avoid irritated skin, tender in the softness of the touch. xie lian's expression is just worry. unabashed, open worry and care for what sort of pain hua cheng must have been in. what pain he must be in. how he must have suffered.
i've experienced suffering, he'd said. why did the world decide he needed more? ]
[ Just a little bit longer, he thinks. Just a little bit longer, and he would have been healed enough, would have gotten adjusted to the ache and emptiness left behind that he would have been able to walk out the door to pretend that everything fine. A little disguise, and no one would have been the wiser, save for his staff, who wouldn't dare say a word to anyone.
Except Xie Lian.
All he can do is stare at him, unable to move even as Xie Lian crosses the room to him. The pain in his voice just continues to cement that kind heart in place for him, the fact that he's hurting for Hua Cheng. That heart has gotten him into trouble, caused him suffering, but he wouldn't dare let anyone take that from him - such a kind person is one that the world needs, but perhaps doesn't deserve, when all it's done is take and take.
Gods, Hua Cheng just wants to give - and here he is, giving him a fright, causing him pain, too.
But his eye flutters closed, eyebrows a little pinched but a smile still slowly curling on his face. Because these strong hands are so soft, so tender, and he simply lets them hold him, bringing his hands up to fold long fingers around his wrists. His ears flick back, but don't pin, as if just being touched so softly is healing in itself.
Maybe it is. There's no magical cureall that clears away the clear chemical burn on his face, nothing that dries away the blood, nothing that restores his eye. But Hua Cheng relaxes into the touch, tilting his uninjured cheek into Xie Lian's palm. ]
I was hoping gege wouldn't have to see me like this. [ His deep voice is low in a different quality - tired, because even if he's used to pain, it's still left him drained. Taking care of Beau and Futaba, getting them to Shinobu, limping his way home... it's been a tiring 24 hours. ] It's gone.
[ No it looks worse than it is, no it's all fine, just two words of frank honesty. He doesn't say anything about how it hurts, because - if it's gone, of course it does. But he weathers through it like he has every other storm that he's faced, each bout of suffering that he's been put through. ]
xie lian's heart lurches for san lang. he can put two and two together, and the thought of him hurting so much makes xie lian ache. his brows knit together, confusion and worry all at once. it takes him a moment to respond, though, as he processes, and the first part of what hua cheng says to him is what sticks the furthest down, twinges old memories that have yet to be buried quite right. with one gentle stroke of his thumbs, xie lian speaks, his tone taking on just the slightest, softest edge of a chide. it's no angry scolding; it rings with empathy and concern, a genuine, fierce emotion that he's come to associate very much with his san lang. ]
San Lang ah. [ his thumbs tap, very gently, against his cheekbones, far from the wound, but xie lian holds hua cheng's gaze if he'll let him, ducking his head underneath if he looks down. ] You standing alone and bearing the brunt of your suffering.... is that not the most painful thing there is? To know there's nothing I could do while you were in pain?
[ he quotes san lang's own words back to him, not cruelly, not meanly, just making the same point he had made for him just a week ago. there's not a chance he could forget what hua cheng had said to him in that horrific nightmare. it's the kind of thing that will stick with xie lian for a lifetime, meant more than he could ever possibly describe out loud, and if he has the chance to return the favor to san lang (as he must return so many favors), then xie lian will do so, pouring all of the compassion in his body into this person, all of the love and kindness he has to give. ] To think this world is all perfectly rosy while you suffer in silence is the worst pain I can imagine. If I can do something, even if it's small, then I want to do something. You protect me from nothing in telling me nothing, because... I want to walk this path beside you, not leagues ahead of you, or above you. Whether it's good, or bad, or something silly in between, I want to be there to support you, in all of the ways you've helped me.
[ he tries for a smile. it's small, just the corner of his mouth lifting; he's standing by what he's said, a proud flint to his eyes that's been there for eight hundred years. even in the slightest bit of awkward hesitation after such an impassioned speech, it still rings true. but, still, xie lian wants to reassure san lang, that he thinks no differently of him, that if xie lian will help it, everything will be fine. that san lang will be fine.
he thumbs one last time, trying to catch his gaze properly. ] ...will you tell me what happened?
[ A soft laugh escapes him, close to a chuff, as he's so gently chided. But Hua Cheng can feel the primary course of it, the gentleness, the compassion. There is no one quite like Xie Lian, and he doubts there will ever be anyone like him. This lifetime, this world, any world - there's only Xie Lian.
His gaze lifts up to meet his when he ducks his head, rather than something so close to shying away as he could ever get. Because how could he look away, when he's so close to him?
Especially when he hears such familiar words being repeated back to him. His own just desserts, perhaps. Slowly, he strokes the fingers of one hand down the back of Xie Lian's knuckles, curling them back around his wrist when he returns there, as if he could hold onto him and everything would be fine. No nightmares can reach them here, in the waking world, when the two of them are together like this. ]
To stand by your side, to protect you as you protect me, that's the paradise I would truly build with my own hands. [ Affirming Xie Lian's words, supporting them, seeking that validation for them both. Xie Lian gives him that love, and for as much as he doesn't feel he deserves it, Hua Cheng will embrace it, cherish it the same as he does his daozhang. ] Since the day that we met, gege, and however long you'll stay.
[ Because Hua Cheng certainly has no intentions of going anywhere. Slowly, he lifts his head a little more, without leaving his touch. That dark, twinkling eye looks at him directly. No hiding. ]
Sit down? [ Selfishly, he would rather continue being held. ]
[ it's a little funny--if it wasn't for the ears, it would be easy to mistake this san lang for his own. they speak in such similar ways, and the gravity to his words feel like truth. there's no niceties here, because xie lian knows that hua cheng would never do such things. there's no secret dislike, or an attempt at lying to him, either. just hua cheng, who always seems to know exactly what to say, when xie lian needs to hear it. the sense of equality they've built in the universe that xie lian knows best continues even here, when they're nowhere near an even playing field.
his expression shifts into a soft smile, again, as hua cheng holds onto him, as he looks. ] If this life is a banquet, then I'll stay with you, until this banquet reaches its end. [ though that phrase means nothing to hua cheng, it's become something important to xie lian, since their conversation in the space. he wants to affirm hua cheng just as much as he is to him, now that he's the one in trouble.
at his request, xie lian nods. he slowly removes his hands, fingertips coming off of his face, before xie lian shifts to settle next to him. there's a moment of pause. he's not sure what to do, but he wants to keep comforting san lang... so, after a moment, he just sort of awkwardly turns his palms up, arms opening a little. if he. wants to come over here. or put his head on his shoulder, or his lap.
[ All of his tails sweep to one side as Xie Lian goes to sit, spilling over each other and the lounge, and he takes in the smile on his face in the meantime. Until it reaches its end? Almost immediately, Hua Cheng knows what he wants to say - to bolster that equality, to give him a lifelong promise, to be his most dedicated follower even in this lifetime. Xie Lian, time and again, has given him his life.
Given him a purpose, beyond retribution for the wrongs paid to him. A helping hand was offered to him in the dark, and he dare not let go. ]
Then, I hope this banquet never ends. [ I pray I never rest in peace.
But then, there's brief surprise visible on his marred face, seeing Xie Lian's hands spread like that. It takes a moment, two, before he slips forward. Like the fox that he is, a wild animal tentative towards human contact, until it all melts away the moment he's close enough to the human body next to him. He dips forward, gaze flicking up to Xie Lian's face a moment, before he practically nuzzles into his space. Better to accept the offer before it's rescinded, before gege thinks on second thought.
Hua Cheng fits against him, his dark hair tucked just under Xie Lian's jaw, letting him press close to the thrumming pulse he can feel at his throat. ]
[ xie lian wants to be a safe place for hua cheng, as hua cheng has been for him. therefore, at his brief hesitance, he doesn't move, keeping his hands open, trying to give him a welcoming smile -- and then lets out a little "oof" as he's suddenly accosted with a whole lot of boy.
it doesn't bother xie lian, though, and a little laugh escapes him. it's hua cheng. he's different than anyone else in this world, and as he enters xie lian's space, he merely lifts his sleeves up and out of the way to make sure they don't get pinned as hua cheng makes himself comfortable. it's not abnormal, especially not after algos academy, where this sort of thing was basically day to day, and he learned there that san lang likes to be held and would often worm his way in without much announcement of it.
so! his arms drape carefully across hua cheng's back, and he lifts his wrist to reach up and... oh, finally, scratch him behind those soft, fluffy fox ears. if this is the easiest way for xie lian to bring san lang comfort, then he can't say he's complaining, and he hums a soft, inquisitive noise at san lang's statement, one that vibrates in his throat near where san lang has settled himself. ]
I'll decide for myself what's dangerous and what isn't, thank you. [ he points out with a huff of amusement, soft, even if his cheeks are a bit pink. ] So you'll have to be a bit more specific.
[ xie lian has never felt safer than he does with hua cheng, and he'd... he'd like to return the favor. if this is what helps, then so be it. (it is no great sacrifice, holding him in his arms, scratching his fingers through his dark hair. it is a chance to return some of the endless care that hua cheng has given him.) ]
[ For someone as strong as him, it wouldn't take much to attack. Even Xie Lian would be caught off guard with this proximity and trust, and wouldn't come out of it unscathed. But there's no desire to harm him, as he holds him, wrapping his arms around his middle and weaseling to make sure that all of him fits. He's long, lean, but broad-shouldered and solid regardless - yet there's no difficulty in fitting against the small, compact, strong Xie Lian that folds him into his sleeves, into his arms.
In an instant, Hua Cheng melts against Xie Lian, his ears flicking back with an absolute contentedness that truly shouldn't be achievable. He's happy, despite all of the chaos, the pain, the things that have happened over the course of a month. (Of a lifetime.) He nuzzles his nose under Xie Lian's jaw, heedless of his injury, because it doesn't matter.
He's being held in Xie Lian's arms. There are important things to talk about, but with some shifting, the two of them take up the entirety of the lounge like this. And he's shameless about it. ]
If you offer me your arms like this too much, I'll never want to leave them. [ Don't you know how much he loves you, even in this world? ] But if gege wants to pet my ears like this, who am I to tell him to stop, anyways?
[ ...oh. well, that's a bit embarrassing. he mumbles, ] Such shameless things come out of your mouth so easily.. [ but doesn't follow up much more than that, which is xie lian speak for "that's embarrassing but i like it", definitely. his scold has zero heat.
xie lian just lets hua cheng get comfortable. once he's settled perfectly, xie lian adjusts, and gently rests his chin on top of hua cheng's head, being especially careful not to mess up his injury. he even reaches down to gently adjust hua cheng's chin with gentle, sure fingers, so the burnt side of his face isn't pressed directly into his chest like that, because he's pretty sure that san lang actually doesn't care but xie lian does. he shouldn't have to be in any pain, at all.
the new angle lets him scratch and scratch away, which is very nice, too. he ends up smiling a little more than he means to, softly down at the head of ink black hair now tucked against him. as hua cheng relaxes, so too does xie lian, and the little warmth in his chest that has been building and building for san lang flickers happily, as if he's found his way home. (in a way, it feels like he has.) ] I'll pet them as much as you'd like, though I still would like to know what happened.
[ Heart giving a little jump at the touch to his chin, there's no resistance as he settles into place where he's put, cheek against his chest more carefully now. The dull throb of pain is still there, and his head is killing him even hours and hours later, but... but Xie Lian's fingers in his hair, scratching behind his velvet-soft ears, is enough to help soothe things away.
At least make them more tolerable, now, as he curls his legs up - tucking them under Xie Lian's, letting him prop them up like that.
Of course, he can only bask innocently for so long.
Hm, damn. But Hua Cheng knew that he couldn't escape it for long, not when Xie Lian is always so astute when it comes to other people. He hums a low, content noise, something that reverberates all the way into the pit of his chest. If he were a cat, it would be a purr; as it is, he just sighs, tails flicking before settling in all the open spaces left by their legs and the lounge. ]
I know gege doesn't drink, but surely he still knows of the winery here in Umite? [ He doesn't wait for a response. ] The daughter of the owners is someone that I know quite well. Beau. She and Kano came to me for help, after the market, because they landed themselves in some trouble. But someone was selling things that they shouldn't have been, gems and potions that contained blood, things like that, and she wanted to find who the source was.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
:) you know what this is
this is... this is unusual. xie lian doesn't like it. he doesn't like that he can't just reach out to him over the home base, or with those lovely cell phone devices they'd had in the world before. no matter where they've been, it felt like hua cheng was always there, telling xie lian if he had somewhere to check in (in the last world in particular) but never far out of reach. he can't recall a day since they met that they haven't been in communication... until today.
but it's probably fine. hua cheng mentioned having some business to take care of the night before, and xie lian was busy helping royce. they were both working to help this place, even if san lang knew it in a way xie lian did not, and that was fine. he likes how easy things are between them, even when one remembers and one doesn't. hua cheng makes it easy to have a friend, even though xie lian is awkward, and generally unlikable, and not good at having friends at all. he's a comforting, perfect presence and not having him there is. odd. it's wrong, but he trusts hua cheng and he knows it'll be fine.
two hours into the day, he's making breakfast, experimenting on a bowl of congee and ruining it beyond all disbelief. he eats it anyway.
four hours into the day, he's harvesting vegetables outside of the shrine, replanting the fields, digging out plants and putting in new ones, moving them around. he's made a note to himself to ask for san lang's communication array password, when they return to the space.
six hours into the day, xie lian has taken apart a part of puji shrine and put it back together, adding in new stones, fixing the holes made last week. maybe hua cheng will contact him eventually. it's not unusual for him to be busy. he might drop by as a fox, maybe--he'd like that.
by the evening, xie lian's worry has reached a peak, and he gives up trying to make himself busy with a thousand useless tasks. the priest makes his way into umite, down through the docks, around the corner to the beautiful red facade of wu ming. he has a bad gut feeling, which has never been a good sign, and he nods his greeting to the matron, who greets him with a bow and a worried look on her face.
that only makes it worse.
hua cheng will hear the sound of footsteps, coming down the hallway. they start off quieter, but get louder and louder as xie lian picks up the pace, the bad feeling in his gut twisting into something like a knife, and he stops himself just before the door, raises his fist, and -- freezes.
what if he's here for a reason? what if he doesn't want to see xie lian--if the hua cheng of this world has wised up to him, understands who he is and what he's done? like in his dream, it would be better; he'd be safer, but -
( "If you will have me at your side, then that is where I intend to stay, for however long this banquet may last.")
xie lian lifts his head. his resolve steels. the worry for san lang (what if he's hurt, what if he's dying, san lang, san lang) and that bad feeling take over, and with a demanding entrance that's truly worthy of the crown prince of xian le, he grabs the sliding door and pulls it open.
sorry if it was locked he may have broken the lock. ] --San Lang!
boy oh boy
And maybe a part of him did. But he's been caught up in making sure Beau and Futaba recover, which has left him preoccupied more with other people than himself - because when that dust had hit him, his thought was and what could it do to me? as if he was untouchable. He'd so carefully cultivated the person that he is now, the strength and knowledge, the skills and resources. Perhaps not invincible, but as of late it had felt like even in the midst of all the chaos, he had the power and control necessary to face the oncoming storm.
The Wu Ming staff all flutter around him like nervous butterflies, fretful but trying not to get underfoot and aggravate him further. They leave him be when he enters his own quarters, in the dimly lit, crimson red halls of the private floor of Wu Ming, but he knows that they're all whispering to each other as he licks his wounds.
It hurts. His head throbs, the socket aches, the skin around it is irritated. There's a sort of irony in that it was his right eye, he thinks, but if that was the sacrifice for making sure that Beau didn't suffer worse than she did - and didn't bleed out as a consequence of it - and that Futaba was gotten to safety, then he'll accept it.
For as often as he holds disinterest for those not worth his time, he would give of himself for those that he cares about, no matter how distant and aloof he pretends to be.
Even after the eye is gone - because what point is there to leave what remains of it there, when it's effectively melted out of his head - the pain remains.
Hua Cheng is used to pain.
His ears twitch when he hears the quick pace of footsteps making its way towards his door, and it takes a moment for it to register for what it is behind the throbbing of his head. There's barely any time for him to react when the door slides open, the lock broken under Xie Lian's determination. (Later, he'll doubt he even knew the door was locked.) (Probably didn't notice.) All he can do is sit up from the lounge he'd sprawled back on to look at him, tails spilling over the side, remaining eye dark and round in surprise - and a little guilt, hearing his voice call him like that, the realization that he's been caught. But otherwise there isn't, technically, anything different.
In the dreams, his red right eye was visible. There was no eyepatch to cover it. In the waking world, it's more common to see him wearing the patch, so there's tecnically no difference to him now.
Save for the irritated skin that's visible under the edges of a white bandage, instead, wrapped around his head in place of his often pitch dark, decorated patches. A red blotch of tacky blood is just barely showing through the layers. ]
no subject
something was wrong.
he's holding the door open still, the wood slightly cracking underneath the force of his grip, his eyes round and wide. san lang is alive, yes, but -- those bandages across his face make his heart lurch. there's blood, fresh blood, and his mind reels with every sudden possibility of what could have caused such an injury. of what might remain--or what might not.
he knows that hua cheng wears an eyepatch in his true form. that, logically, he could be missing an eye made perfect sense. but this hua cheng was fine. he'd learned in his nightmares that hua cheng had a red eye, that he kept that covered with the patch, but he'd never suffered any sort of injury that would have left him incapacitated. and now...
...the why and how doesn't matter, not right now. what matters is that he is here, he is alive, and he is hurting. ]
San Lang. [ he repeats, whooshed out of him in an exhale, just seven letters wrapped up in what sounds like ache. not contrition for ignoring him, not any sort of derision or judgement; just the real and terrifying thought that he was right. xie lian crosses the room as fast as he can, hurrying across and reaching out with both hands to scoop up his face if san lang will let him, cradling his jaw with the utmost tenderness as his eyes scan across his face, trying to look at the wound, eyes flicking from the bandages to his other eye and back again. ] San Lang, oh -- what happened to you...?
[ his thumbs brush against his cheeks, careful to avoid irritated skin, tender in the softness of the touch. xie lian's expression is just worry. unabashed, open worry and care for what sort of pain hua cheng must have been in. what pain he must be in. how he must have suffered.
i've experienced suffering, he'd said. why did the world decide he needed more? ]
no subject
Except Xie Lian.
All he can do is stare at him, unable to move even as Xie Lian crosses the room to him. The pain in his voice just continues to cement that kind heart in place for him, the fact that he's hurting for Hua Cheng. That heart has gotten him into trouble, caused him suffering, but he wouldn't dare let anyone take that from him - such a kind person is one that the world needs, but perhaps doesn't deserve, when all it's done is take and take.
Gods, Hua Cheng just wants to give - and here he is, giving him a fright, causing him pain, too.
But his eye flutters closed, eyebrows a little pinched but a smile still slowly curling on his face. Because these strong hands are so soft, so tender, and he simply lets them hold him, bringing his hands up to fold long fingers around his wrists. His ears flick back, but don't pin, as if just being touched so softly is healing in itself.
Maybe it is. There's no magical cureall that clears away the clear chemical burn on his face, nothing that dries away the blood, nothing that restores his eye. But Hua Cheng relaxes into the touch, tilting his uninjured cheek into Xie Lian's palm. ]
I was hoping gege wouldn't have to see me like this. [ His deep voice is low in a different quality - tired, because even if he's used to pain, it's still left him drained. Taking care of Beau and Futaba, getting them to Shinobu, limping his way home... it's been a tiring 24 hours. ] It's gone.
[ No it looks worse than it is, no it's all fine, just two words of frank honesty. He doesn't say anything about how it hurts, because - if it's gone, of course it does. But he weathers through it like he has every other storm that he's faced, each bout of suffering that he's been put through. ]
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xie lian's heart lurches for san lang. he can put two and two together, and the thought of him hurting so much makes xie lian ache. his brows knit together, confusion and worry all at once. it takes him a moment to respond, though, as he processes, and the first part of what hua cheng says to him is what sticks the furthest down, twinges old memories that have yet to be buried quite right. with one gentle stroke of his thumbs, xie lian speaks, his tone taking on just the slightest, softest edge of a chide. it's no angry scolding; it rings with empathy and concern, a genuine, fierce emotion that he's come to associate very much with his san lang. ]
San Lang ah. [ his thumbs tap, very gently, against his cheekbones, far from the wound, but xie lian holds hua cheng's gaze if he'll let him, ducking his head underneath if he looks down. ] You standing alone and bearing the brunt of your suffering.... is that not the most painful thing there is? To know there's nothing I could do while you were in pain?
[ he quotes san lang's own words back to him, not cruelly, not meanly, just making the same point he had made for him just a week ago. there's not a chance he could forget what hua cheng had said to him in that horrific nightmare. it's the kind of thing that will stick with xie lian for a lifetime, meant more than he could ever possibly describe out loud, and if he has the chance to return the favor to san lang (as he must return so many favors), then xie lian will do so, pouring all of the compassion in his body into this person, all of the love and kindness he has to give. ] To think this world is all perfectly rosy while you suffer in silence is the worst pain I can imagine. If I can do something, even if it's small, then I want to do something. You protect me from nothing in telling me nothing, because... I want to walk this path beside you, not leagues ahead of you, or above you. Whether it's good, or bad, or something silly in between, I want to be there to support you, in all of the ways you've helped me.
[ he tries for a smile. it's small, just the corner of his mouth lifting; he's standing by what he's said, a proud flint to his eyes that's been there for eight hundred years. even in the slightest bit of awkward hesitation after such an impassioned speech, it still rings true. but, still, xie lian wants to reassure san lang, that he thinks no differently of him, that if xie lian will help it, everything will be fine. that san lang will be fine.
he thumbs one last time, trying to catch his gaze properly. ] ...will you tell me what happened?
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His gaze lifts up to meet his when he ducks his head, rather than something so close to shying away as he could ever get. Because how could he look away, when he's so close to him?
Especially when he hears such familiar words being repeated back to him. His own just desserts, perhaps. Slowly, he strokes the fingers of one hand down the back of Xie Lian's knuckles, curling them back around his wrist when he returns there, as if he could hold onto him and everything would be fine. No nightmares can reach them here, in the waking world, when the two of them are together like this. ]
To stand by your side, to protect you as you protect me, that's the paradise I would truly build with my own hands. [ Affirming Xie Lian's words, supporting them, seeking that validation for them both. Xie Lian gives him that love, and for as much as he doesn't feel he deserves it, Hua Cheng will embrace it, cherish it the same as he does his daozhang. ] Since the day that we met, gege, and however long you'll stay.
[ Because Hua Cheng certainly has no intentions of going anywhere. Slowly, he lifts his head a little more, without leaving his touch. That dark, twinkling eye looks at him directly. No hiding. ]
Sit down? [ Selfishly, he would rather continue being held. ]
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his expression shifts into a soft smile, again, as hua cheng holds onto him, as he looks. ] If this life is a banquet, then I'll stay with you, until this banquet reaches its end. [ though that phrase means nothing to hua cheng, it's become something important to xie lian, since their conversation in the space. he wants to affirm hua cheng just as much as he is to him, now that he's the one in trouble.
at his request, xie lian nods. he slowly removes his hands, fingertips coming off of his face, before xie lian shifts to settle next to him. there's a moment of pause. he's not sure what to do, but he wants to keep comforting san lang... so, after a moment, he just sort of awkwardly turns his palms up, arms opening a little. if he. wants to come over here. or put his head on his shoulder, or his lap.
... or something. how embarrassing. ]
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Given him a purpose, beyond retribution for the wrongs paid to him. A helping hand was offered to him in the dark, and he dare not let go. ]
Then, I hope this banquet never ends. [ I pray I never rest in peace.
But then, there's brief surprise visible on his marred face, seeing Xie Lian's hands spread like that. It takes a moment, two, before he slips forward. Like the fox that he is, a wild animal tentative towards human contact, until it all melts away the moment he's close enough to the human body next to him. He dips forward, gaze flicking up to Xie Lian's face a moment, before he practically nuzzles into his space. Better to accept the offer before it's rescinded, before gege thinks on second thought.
Hua Cheng fits against him, his dark hair tucked just under Xie Lian's jaw, letting him press close to the thrumming pulse he can feel at his throat. ]
... dangerous to offer such a thing, gege.
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it doesn't bother xie lian, though, and a little laugh escapes him. it's hua cheng. he's different than anyone else in this world, and as he enters xie lian's space, he merely lifts his sleeves up and out of the way to make sure they don't get pinned as hua cheng makes himself comfortable. it's not abnormal, especially not after algos academy, where this sort of thing was basically day to day, and he learned there that san lang likes to be held and would often worm his way in without much announcement of it.
so! his arms drape carefully across hua cheng's back, and he lifts his wrist to reach up and... oh, finally, scratch him behind those soft, fluffy fox ears. if this is the easiest way for xie lian to bring san lang comfort, then he can't say he's complaining, and he hums a soft, inquisitive noise at san lang's statement, one that vibrates in his throat near where san lang has settled himself. ]
I'll decide for myself what's dangerous and what isn't, thank you. [ he points out with a huff of amusement, soft, even if his cheeks are a bit pink. ] So you'll have to be a bit more specific.
[ xie lian has never felt safer than he does with hua cheng, and he'd... he'd like to return the favor. if this is what helps, then so be it. (it is no great sacrifice, holding him in his arms, scratching his fingers through his dark hair. it is a chance to return some of the endless care that hua cheng has given him.) ]
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In an instant, Hua Cheng melts against Xie Lian, his ears flicking back with an absolute contentedness that truly shouldn't be achievable. He's happy, despite all of the chaos, the pain, the things that have happened over the course of a month. (Of a lifetime.) He nuzzles his nose under Xie Lian's jaw, heedless of his injury, because it doesn't matter.
He's being held in Xie Lian's arms. There are important things to talk about, but with some shifting, the two of them take up the entirety of the lounge like this. And he's shameless about it. ]
If you offer me your arms like this too much, I'll never want to leave them. [ Don't you know how much he loves you, even in this world? ] But if gege wants to pet my ears like this, who am I to tell him to stop, anyways?
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xie lian just lets hua cheng get comfortable. once he's settled perfectly, xie lian adjusts, and gently rests his chin on top of hua cheng's head, being especially careful not to mess up his injury. he even reaches down to gently adjust hua cheng's chin with gentle, sure fingers, so the burnt side of his face isn't pressed directly into his chest like that, because he's pretty sure that san lang actually doesn't care but xie lian does. he shouldn't have to be in any pain, at all.
the new angle lets him scratch and scratch away, which is very nice, too. he ends up smiling a little more than he means to, softly down at the head of ink black hair now tucked against him. as hua cheng relaxes, so too does xie lian, and the little warmth in his chest that has been building and building for san lang flickers happily, as if he's found his way home. (in a way, it feels like he has.) ] I'll pet them as much as you'd like, though I still would like to know what happened.
[ you have not distracted him yet, sir! ]
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At least make them more tolerable, now, as he curls his legs up - tucking them under Xie Lian's, letting him prop them up like that.
Of course, he can only bask innocently for so long.
Hm, damn. But Hua Cheng knew that he couldn't escape it for long, not when Xie Lian is always so astute when it comes to other people. He hums a low, content noise, something that reverberates all the way into the pit of his chest. If he were a cat, it would be a purr; as it is, he just sighs, tails flicking before settling in all the open spaces left by their legs and the lounge. ]
I know gege doesn't drink, but surely he still knows of the winery here in Umite? [ He doesn't wait for a response. ] The daughter of the owners is someone that I know quite well. Beau. She and Kano came to me for help, after the market, because they landed themselves in some trouble. But someone was selling things that they shouldn't have been, gems and potions that contained blood, things like that, and she wanted to find who the source was.